The Bird Crap Counter: Not Just for Birds Anymore

Long time readers will know that I’ve got a small dilemma when it comes to birds: they seem to love the look of my head. More specifically, birds seem to love my head so much that they continue to crap all over it.

The first time this happened on my travels I thought, ok perhaps it is a symbol of good luck. The 7th time I began to think it was a vendetta and nothing more. People occasionally say to me, oh Jodi it’s just because you live a life that is more outdoors than most!


I have a friends who have been travelling longer, and more adventurously (read: outdoorsily) than I.

They have remained unscathed. I, on the other hand, have moved on from simple bird crap to bats.

On my recent press trip to the Dominican Republic, the group of us were taking a boat to a cave in Los Haitises. I ducked slightly as a bird flew overhead, and someone in the group asked if I was afraid of birds. No, I said, I’m simply afraid of them shitting on me. I detailed the many times it has happened since I quit my job, and everyone laughed and said it was good luck.

When we got into the cave, only one bat flew above us, for only one small moment in time, and only one person got crapped on: me.

bird crap good luck
Cave in Los Haitises National Park, aka the scene of the guano.

Bats are not birds. They are flying mammals, and thus technically should not be included in The Official BirdCrap counter. So instead I’m asking my readers to help me figure out where the bat crap should go.


1) Flying Things that Shat on My Person (suggested by Abbie Mood)

2) Mammals that Shat on Me (suggested by Melanie from Travels With Two)

2) Guano’d: The Bat Shit Counter (suggested by Rose from Creampuff Revolution)

3) Or, I can keep the bat in the bird crap counter since it does fly and if you REALLY squint you could call it a bird.

What say you, Legal Nomads readers? Leave your vote in the comments. Additional suggestions will be added to the list.


27 thoughts on “The Bird Crap Counter: Not Just for Birds Anymore”

  1. HAA! I can’t believe a bat crapped on you?!! What is it that makes you a target to these flying creatures. I like option 1. Shat is a great word!

    Is it only out of N. America that you get shat on?

  2. I think it should go in the Bird Crap counter, with a caveat. Unless of course you start to collect mammals who crap on you, then you’ll have to start a brand new list!

  3. How is this possible Jodi! A BAT?!

    As for the vote, “Guano’d: The Bat Shit Counter” gave me the biggest laugh but if this is going to be a reoccurring thing among flying animals/objects (it could happen) the I go with (1) :-)

  4. Or you could just create a new counter called “other things that shat on me” and hope it doesn’t get too high…..

  5. I like Flying Things that Shat on My Person. It sounds official, just as a crap counter should. Also, it doesn’t exclude birds, and that’s a good thing because tracking two crap counters could get… messy. Ahem.

    Alternatively, I’m thinking that bats are enough like birds to get a 0.5 on a bird crap counter.

  6. OMG, Jodi, I cannot believe your luck. Maybe you could just shorten it to “The Crap Counter”. Of course, that might just invite other mammals and reptiles to start crapping on you. When a bear craps on your head, that’s when you really need to start worrying.

  7. I started laughing when I saw the twitter update about the bat shitting on you. Was anyone else hit or was it only you??

    As for the crap counter, I vote for #1.

    1. No, just me. And it shat on my backpack and then on my shirt. I’m just worried about a slippery slope issue whereupon I’ve now moved to mammals and who knows what will crap on me next!

  8. Wow. I don’t know if a bird has ever “shat” on me. Interesting. Personally, I think “Flying things that shat on my person” is rather catchy!

  9. I am really thinking, we can start odds and place bets on the next date something craps on you from the flying circus of birds and bats and ….

    my guess, October 9th, 2010.

    stay adventurous,

  10. Under things that smell REALLY, REALLY bad, far worse than a bird’s could ever? Not that I’m an expert, but I did pass a cave FULL of bat, ahem, guano in the Philippines and it honked to high heaven.

  11. I vote for #3. Saying a bat isn’t a bird is like saying Canadians are different than Americans :) It’s just silly semantics.

  12. @Craig: thanks for the over/under. Will let you know for sure. :)

    @mummy T: I went through 6 hours of underground spelunking in Sagada (the Philippines) and the caves were chock full of guano. Stinks.

    @kyle: ignoring.

  13. Jodi, you can’t win for losing with being crapped on all the time can you? ;-) Or, if you subscribe to being crapped on by birds as lucky, then you are one of the luckiest ladies alive! As for what to do with this post, maybe keep this post, then add a mention in the bird crap counter about “Other Things That Have Shat On Me,” with a link here. just seems like a good compromise.

  14. Now that I’ve had time to consider the big picture du shatt-age and to experience “The Jodi Effect” firsthand — you’ll recall that while standing next to you atop the D.R.’s Mount Isabel de Torres, I was shat upon on the foot by a rogue bird with bad aim — I still stand firm on my suggestion of a new list called ‘Mammals That Shat on Me.’

    After all, It would seem your luck is shifting. :)

    As for Craig’s projection for your next incident of poop-aliciousness, I’d like to amend the date to October 8, 2010…being my birthday and all. It seems fair!

  15. I like either Abbie’s or Guano’d hahaha however do you plan on getting shat on by a bat again?
    I guess you can’t really plan these things either…. hmmm
    (speaking of bats though have you ever seen the bats in Sydney, Australia? they are frigging huge!!!!!! watch out for those if you ever go!)

  16. I had to forward this link on, given Jodles’ penchant for being a target (if a small one).

    Apparently, Jodes, you’re in good company…


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